12 July, 2008

Random Haikus

July 26th, 2007

A haiku is a Japanese short poem. In English, it is divided in three lines, of respectively 5, 7, and 5 syllables. I was doing a little research on the Japanese poets and the form of the haiku (thanks to Salinger) when I found those "random haiku generators". Naturally, I couldn't resist. One of my favourite games is Exquisite Corpses, but I never have anyone to play with me.

Before I show you the fruit of my research, let's first see what a regular classic haiku looks like. Here is one I particularly like, from Basho (1644-1694):

The old pond:
a frog jumps in,-
the sound of water.

Not bad eh? Well I like it. Have another:

With every gust of wind,
the butterfly changes its place
on the willow.

I love the "detail" attitude of the haiku. I find that very interesting. But let's now see the children of Randomness I came up with on various sites.

The loquacious nurse
bathes in warm crocodile tears.
Hell, maybe. Who knows.

Who knows indeed.

His neighbor's young wife
rolls her tongue, trilling r's, l's.
One more cigarette.

One more at least.

The shy cartoonist
tucks the gem beneath her tongue.
Is this all there is?

I especially like this one.

The sly lunch lady
removes her prosthetic leg.
He takes a breath, breathes.

I sense some eroticism in the air... The removing of that prosthetic leg obviously affected the "he" very deeply. And she's sly, don't fail to notice!

The clarinetist
blots her dark lipstick, pauses.
She sells no sea shells.

She doesn't, you're gonna have to check another shop.

Clouds form. The pornstar
plants the pill beneath the sheets.
It's all circular.

I suspect the pornstar expects that medical seed to grow into a full pack. I never thought of that! And given the price of medication, that's quite a brilliant idea. And "It's all circular", how poetic!

The reclusive aunt
rubs her feet, closes her eyes.

Not that crazy about the third line, but fun. This generator uses premade lines rather than premade words, mostly.

The banker's mistress
removes her prosthetic leg.
You buy the next round.

Prosthetic leg again. I didn't save all the haikus where prosthetic legs showed up, but there have been quite a few.

The divorcee sighs,
eats the lottery ticket.
The night betrays me.

I love this one! It's like: "Fuck it, I got dumped by my wife, now I don't even count on that Goddam lottery ticket; check this out, I so don't even hope to win, I'm just gonna eat it! Even the night betrays me!" I love it.

His virgin great-aunt
shouts lies to baldheaded fools.
No room in the inn.

No room in the inn you deaf baldheaded fools! Get some hair over there or wear hats, the cold is getting to your brains! Besides, I'm a virgin and I'm sexually frustrated, that's why I shout!

The pianist's niece
stands, coins spilling from her ears.
Snow falls in Utah.

Yes, when you see a girl with coins spilling from her ears, snow is most likely falling in Utah. That's one for you Shelly! [A friend of mine living in Utah.]

The stripper pauses,
bathes in warm crocodile tears.
The sky fills with stars.

Along with prosthetic legs, you find a lot of crocodile tears baths. But I liked this one too much not to include it in my selection.

The loquacious nurse
removes her prosthetic leg.
His ears fill with blood.

The loquacious nurse once again, and this time his gender is revealed! Probably the leg was connected to the ears in some eerie way...

Clouds form. The pornstar
shuffles a stack of scratch cards.
My dog has no fleas.

You bet your life he gots no fleas. To be continued!

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