August 1st, 2007
After the random haikus, I found out, totally by accident, a random slogan generator. I swear it was by accident. I had googled "slogan" to find some material to exercise my critical teeth on, when this website came up. All you have to do is write a word in the bar, and click. And presto, you have your very own public relations agent. So let's see what this electronic agent would advise as slogans for me. I enter my name - "Nicolas" - and let the fun begin.
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Keep That Nicolas Complexion.
That must refer to a rather pale complexion.
Nicolas, and on, and on...
Yeah, he tends to rant.
The Curiously Strong Nicolas.
Curiously? Why is that?
Go On, Get Your Nicolas Out.
Er...
Nicolas Not Included.
Aw, this one actually made me feel sad.
Say It With Nicolas.
Do, he'll help you turn a normal sentence into an impossibly wordy set of paragraphs.
Unzip a Nicolas.
Leave my pants alone will you.
There Ain't No Party Like A Nicolas Party.
Damn right, there ain't no Nicolas party.
Monsieur, with this Nicolas you are really spoiling us.
I know, I know.
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Then I got tired of my own name and so I entered the word "death" which is a hard concept to advertise for, and one you don't need to advertise for, because it's for everyone regardless of money or the desire to get it. That's the king of products.
I Can't Believe It's Not Death.
The Death of your Life.
I swear I didn't make this one up!
Wouldn't You Like To Be A Death Too?
Put A Death In Your Tank.
Solutions For a Small Death.
If you're familiar with the little death thing, this one is funny.
Probably The Best Death In The World.
There's no other that matches this death!
You Can Be Sure of Death.
Er... That's not funny. This one is too right on to be any fun.
The Death That Refreshes.
Death by immersion in the South Pole waters?
Come to Life. Come to Death.
Once again, I swear I didn't make this one up either.
My Anti-Drug is Death.
Radical.
Death. It's Everywhere You Wanna Be.
Eh...
Then I used "paradigm":
It Makes Your Paradigm Smack.
Oh yes.
Have Paradigm Your Way.
Isn't that what everyone does anyway? No.
No-One Does Chicken Like Paradigm.
Have You Forgotten How Good Paradigm Tastes?
Don't Live a Little, Live a Paradigm.
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And then I used "goolies", which is a Scottish slang word for testicles:
Ahahahaha, I swear this is real!
Prolongs Active Goolies.
Idem!
What Can Goolies Do For You?
What can they not do for you?
When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Goolies.
This is hilarious, makes you wonder about those tough people... Too good!
Don't You Just Love Being In Goolies?
Haven't we all been there?
Men Can't Help Acting On Goolies.
Whatever!
Choosy Mothers Choose Goolies.
I guess there's a direct cause and effect relation here.
Would You Give Someone Your Last Goolies?
Hell no!
Now to the word "bullshit":
Step Into The Bullshit.
Yes!
Oh Hungry? Oh Bullshit.
Yeah, don't think you fool us.
Sometimes You Feel Like a Bullshit, Sometimes You Don't.
Oh life.
It's Bullshit Time.
It is!
How Do You Eat Your Bullshit?
With some salt and ketchup, why? Nah, I usually eat mine with a lot of silliness.
Change Your Whole Bullshit.
I'm Only Here For The Bullshit.
I love this one.
If You've Got the Time, We've Got the Bullshit.
Ahaha, couldn't just about any major company use that one and be truthful?
Bullshit Is Good For You.
Nope!
The Bullshit For All Ages.
Uh-oh, Better Get Bullshit.
Ahaha, that one rules. Sounds like wise political advice.
Sharing the Bullshit of your Life.
A good name for most blog sites.
Your Flexible Bullshit.
Yes!
Good Honest Bullshit Since 1896.
That's too good too, I bet half of you won't even believe I got those at random.
Let the Bullshit Begin.
Or not.
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